Simple, clean and straightforward

Everyone relapses into neurotic patterning all the time.  Regret is useful, but shame simply adds another layer of neurosis to plough through.  Regret the relapse and move on.  Shame is actually holding on to it and not allowing yourself to move on.  Regret the action and let it go – this is simple, clean and straightforward.

p175, Illusory Advice Ngakma Nor’dzin and Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin, Aro Books, 2015, ISBN: 978-1898185-37-6 

A certain degree of chutzpah

A tantrika requires a certain degree of chutzpah.  But that’s not to say that Tantra can’t help you short-circuit insecurity, fear, loneliness, anxiety, and depression.  This may sound like a complete contradiction – but there is an escape clause: devotion.  You can short-circuit all your neurotic sensitivities if you have complete confidence in the practice.  But you can never let that slip.

 p215, Spectrum of Ecstasy, Ngakpa Chögyam with Khandro Déchen, Aro Books, 1997, ISBN 0-9653948-0-8

Desire and neurosis

  It is not so important to see desire as neurotic or not neurotic – it is only important to observe your behaviour and the reaction to that behaviour.
If you seem to be upsetting people and causing problems then the desire is likely to be neurotic.  If your behaviour evokes delight and merriment then your desire is likely to lack neurosis.
     p185, Emailing the Lamas from Afar, Ngakpa Chögyam and Khandro Déchen, Aro Books, 2009, ISBN 978-0-9653948-5-7

I can be the good person who is disapproving of the bad habit

The more you try to force thought out, the more of a problem it becomes.  The more you disapprove of your own neuroses, the more of a problem they become.  The time to disapprove of them is if they are hurting others; and then in the moment.  But one does not go into punishing oneself for having them at other times.  If one is aware that one has patterns, then one has to say, I need to have some awareness while this pattern is performing.  If I punish myself for having the pattern whilst I am having it, then this actually acts as a screen which hides the neurosis – I can be the good person who is disapproving of the bad habit.   That means I never get to see this habit, this neurosis, because I am too busy being the person who is disapproving of it.  This is actually a way of maintaining the neurosis.  The only way I see through a neurosis is to be with it. This is a great value of silent sitting.

Aro Encyclopaedia Index: Compassion - Questions and Answers.
Ngak'chang Rinpoche. 

Neurosis

"The more you try to force thought out, the more of a problem it becomes. The more you disapprove of your own neuroses, the more of a problem they become. The time to disapprove of them is if they are hurting others; and then in the moment. But one does not go into punishing oneself for having them at other times. If one is aware that one has patterns, then one has to say, I need to have some awareness while this pattern is performing. If I punish myself for having the pattern whilst I am having it, then this actually acts as a screen which hides the neurosis – I can be the good person who is disapproving of the bad habit. That means I never get to see this habit, this neurosis, because I am too busy being the person who is disapproving of it. This is actually a way of maintaining the neurosis."

Compassion, Ngak'chang Rinpoche, Aro Encyclopaedia

Whatever style of neurosis

"Whatever style of neurosis we have is intimately connected with our enlightened state"

Compassion & The Nine Yanas, Ngak’chang Rinpoche, Aro Encyclopaedia