When we start to find some event in life painful or when we have experienced a series of calamities, it is helpful to avoid involvement in the ‘unfairness game’. If you say: “This is unfair! I don’t deserve this!” you only succeed in increasing your pain. It would be better to side-step this frustration and confusion, simply by saying: “This is what is happening”. There is no consumer-protection society in the sky to whom you can appeal. There is no life-dissatisfaction appeals tribunal where you can demand: “Life isn’t what I expected, I want my money back!” This is it. This is what we have. Fair or unfair, our situation is what it is, right here and now: in any context you can imagine… It is the texture of your experience, and you cannot disown it. You can only ‘try’ to disown it, by creating a more complex level of confusion around it.’p92-93, Spectrum of Ecstasy, Ngakpa Chögyam with Khandro Déchen, Aro Books, 1997, ISBN 0-9653948-0-8