The lover's open-mindedness equates with wisdom inasmuch as lovers cannot remain lovers if they become closed-minded with each other.The lover's kindness equates with compassion inasmuch as lovers cannot remain lovers if they entertain the possibility of causing each other pain or distress.
Kindness is elicited by the kindness of one's lover, and one's own kindness achieves reciprocal responsiveness: kindness escalates and becomes addictive. Through the self-orientation of our grasping, self-orientation loosens of itself, and dissolves within the fluidity of the needs perceived in one's lover.
p147, Entering the Heart of the Sun and Moon Ngakpa Chögyam and Khandro Déchen, Aro Books, 2009, ISBN 978-0-9653948-3-3