Constant companion

This story ... is interesting from the point of view of ambivalence being our constant companion until we no longer perceive in a dualistic manner.  Confidence and doubt continually tickle each other as long as duality exists – even for the greatest practitioners.  This is why it is so important to treat ambivalence as workable ground.

p222, Wearing the Body of Visions, Ngakpa Chögyam, Aro Books, 1995, ISBN 1-898185-03-4 

The Tantric joke

   We feel ourselves to be solid, yet we are nervous about our existence.  We feel our world to be coherent at one moment; and at another, the whole fabric of our life-event can seem a trifle questionable.  If we never experience our intrinsic spaciousness – we can only ever experience this alternation as: pain, discomfort, alienation; boredom, panic or dissatisfaction.  But as soon as we begin to practise silent sitting meditation; to stare into the nature of what we are; we become a little suspicious of our life-event. We become intrigued by the transparent ambivalences of our situation. It could be quite possible that things are both not what they seem; and, simultaneously, exactly what they seem. This could be called the Tantric joke, the vajra sense of humour that continually prompts us to ask the questions: What is going on? Why is this solidity so solid and also so insubstantial? Why am I consumed by so much certainty and uncertainty?

p47, Wearing the Body of Visions, Ngakpa Chögyam, Aro Books, 1995, ISBN 1-898185-03-4

The electricity of ambivalence

Wisdom and compassion are emptiness and form; they're not separate.  That is the goal of tantra – the unification of emptiness and form.  If the practice of tantra is to unify these, then ambivalence will naturally be a powerful aspect of the path.  As long as there is the appearance of duality, there is the energy of ambivalence: she loves me, she loves me not; she loves me she loves me not …  
Will practice bring me realisation or merely painful knees and ankles?  If the dance of emptiness and form has been mere stagnation – there is no electricity of ambivalence!
Wisdom and compassion are live electric terminals for tantrikas.  You grab them and experience the surge of existence/non-existence as it lights you up like the sun!  Then … maybe you radiate compassion from the empty wisdom space of your being.

p40-41, Wearing the Body of Visions, Ngakpa Chögyam, Aro Books, 1995, ISBN 1-898185-03-4