Starting anew while standing in the stinking crap heap of one’s old mess is the only place anyone can ever start anew. There is no other place. That is essential to the dynamic of Vajrayana. You—just as you are—is the ideal and only starting point.
p235, Emailing the Lamas from Afar, Ngakpa Chögyam and Khandro Déchen, Aro Books, 2009, ISBN 978-0-9653948-5-7