Focus on appreciation

"When you focus on the aspects of your partner that irritate you, that seem inconsiderate, that fail to meet your desires, or that you do not understand or like, you starve yourself and allow the relationship to wither a little. However when you focus on appreciating what you find desirable, pleasurable, interesting, exciting and enjoyable about your partner, then you are nourished by your appreciation and the relationship can bloom."

p.88, Illusory Advice, Ngakma Nor'dzin and Ngakpa 'ö-Dzin